I finally figure that out, these past few days, granted my volume of conversation I had with my parents is diminishing compared to two or three years ago, quality or quantity wise. This kind of situation then made my fear comes true, like after missed out your friends for a few years the moment you met them, they have transformed into this beings which you can't understand again. You remembered them for what they were, but the truth is they have developed and experienced much. So as you.
I began the talk by arguing why I can't learn from mistakes? why should I be protected and believe "what mother knows best" is the best for me. As always the arguments that my parents had are the arguments which I have heard plenty of times during the past few years and trust me, though the quality or the quantity is low, I'm still listening for what they have to say. Out of respect perhaps, but most probably because I'm a true believer that the purpose you had in this world is to learn about the things on the earth and beyond.
The talk expanded from minutes to hours and I can see clearly that my mother is tired, but I still force her to go for it. if it's not now then this will be dragged again into whatever time in the future. I tried to explain that things have developed for me, I had learn things from her sayings, from my experiences and the experiences of others. Stories would be proven to have the same effect.
Previously I had to explained to her that it is a vicious cycle for not believing that I had developed, which in the end she just keep repeating the same stories because she believed that I would still make the same mistake in the future. Worse than a donkey I might say. But then I tried to explain that this cycle is unproductive and only would be proven to make me sick of all the same sayings. Thus I began to explain things to her, I began to let go a piece of my minds I always keep for myself and the results are just awestruck.
She couldn't understand me. she said in her words, that I have become wiser, yes but I also developed to this being which is eerily complicated and advanced so that her minds can't follow my train of thoughts anymore. I say deeply in my heart, you are not the only person who thinks that way, I myself sometimes keep getting confused of myself. Thus explaining the opening sentences.
Parenting is tough yes. While I am a modern child of the universe, my parents are still this simple minded fellow whom I adore and envy at the same time. They've been blessed to be able to raised a child like me and my sister and I studying from them will try to raise my own child with a lots or bits of their teachings.
In the end, we make a pact. I will try to increase the quantity and quality of conversation, while her at the same time will also try to understand my behaviour and began asking about matters she's quite hesitate to ask at first. And I promised myself to learn to express it in a non-delicate ways, which is ok because of the learnings I might need to learn.